The other night Sweetheart and I had a little argument, actually more like me being a bit annoyed, but way too tired and wanting to go to bed to do much about it.
He has never done much to help with Darlin' Boy, and even when prompted he will give up half way through because he's not having automatic success. Whether it be feeding, bathing (ha!), nappy changing, or settling. Even putting a bonds singlet on causes major stress. So inevitably I end up having to step in because Sweetheart is having a panic attack, and Darlin' Boy just wants to be able to go and play and is sick of being poked and prodded!
After our argument the other day I found out the reason why he never does anything to help, especially when it comes to taking the initiative. ie. NOT having to be asked first.
"The reason is because you do such a wonderful job, and I'm hopeless at it."
This is the man who wants four kids! So not only would I have to carry them and give birth to them, but I will also have to do ALL the work, and he still wont open a joint bank account, or get his bloody divorce sorted out. (I'll let him off the divorce thing for the moment, he's too scared!)
While I do appreciate all the little things he does to show he loves me. Letting me NOT do dishes, making me lovely dinners, buying flowers and chocolates last night because he felt guilty about the argument. Sometimes it's the bigger things that really count.
I know he's not an old fashioned person, he has 'new age' ideas about raising kids, he knows what a 'snag' is, and I think tries his best to find a nice balance between BLOKE and SNAG. But if one takes a look at our current family situation...
Dutiful husband (like I said we'll ignore that one for now!) goes off to work to earn the money to support his family. Wifey stays at home, doing the housework, and raising their one year old son, and they have another on the way, the kids will have an 'almost perfect' two year age gap. When payday comes around, because bank account is husbands account, husband gives wifey the 'housekeeping' money, plus a little bit extra for herself (but as we know, it gets spent on the kids or husband anyway).
When one year old son's nappy gets dirty in the evening when the whole family is home, husband will dutifully point out that son smells bad, but will never think to just go and change him. When wifey has had a long hard day because son is ill and she desperately needs a shower and an early night, husband will be the one to jump straight in the shower when he gets home without even taking the time to give wifey a hug, or say boo to son because he can't function without clean fresh clothes.
Wifey has to watch husband play computer games or watch the football, but husband will never watch any of the gardening or lifestyle programs that wifey sometimes likes. Husband throws money away on expensive magazines and computer games while wifey is scrimping and saving with the housekeeping money to buy clothes and toys for son, who rarely gets new, always second hand.
Maybe I shouldn't complain.
At least he doesn't expect dinner on the table when he gets home!
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